Momentum vs Monotony: The Line Between Slow-Burn and Boring

A Writer’s Guide To Story Content

Feb 07, 2025

While evaluating recent submissions—particularly coming of age stories—I often think of Gertrude Stein's famous observation about Oakland: 'There's no there there.' It perfectly captures the challenge of slow-burn storytelling and stories that are just slow.

This issue isn’t limited to coming-of-age; it also affects literary fiction, slice-of-life narratives, family sagas, and even speculative fiction. Not every story needs chaos or explosions to be exciting and compelling. When done well, restraint and subtlety can create their own brand of tension and intrigue—but the line between “quiet” and “empty” is easy to cross.

Without trying to write a “how to” I wanted to look at the nuances of quiet versus empty storytelling, exploring how to create narratives with emotional resonance and hidden complexity – think The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro or Rainbow Rowell’s Attachments. These narratives are brimming with emotional undercurrents and subtext, and the authors trust their readers to read between the lines

👉 You’ll find exercises to help diagnose your story, at the end of this post. 👈

Imagine a scene where a lonely teenager walks through their neighborhood, kicking rocks and musing about life. Now, contrast that with a teenager hesitating at a front door, debating whether to knock after years of estrangement from the family inside. Both are understated moments, but only one has emotional tension and purpose.

Quiet stories invite readers to actively engage with them, compelling them to lean in, interpret subtext, and connect the dots.

In contrast, empty narratives can feel flat, leaving readers detached. They might lack stakes, fail to reveal character depth, or miss the emotional resonance needed to pull readers into their world. As a writer, it can be hard to tell the difference, especially when you're so close to your work.

What Makes a Story "Quiet"?

Readers often describe quiet stories as introspective, evocative, and layered. But if the story fails to connect on an emotional level, readers may dismiss it as uneventful or dull.

Here’s what successful quiet stories have in common:

Emotional Resonance: Even with sparse prose, the story evokes strong feelings—grief, joy, longing.
Subtext Mastery: Dialogue and actions hint at deeper truths without spelling them out.
Character Complexity: Characters are richly developed, even if their emotions and motivations are understated.

While the stakes in Rainbow Rowells’s Attachments are primarily internal and emotional, they are still deeply felt. Lincoln’s loneliness, his journey toward self-worth, and his growing affection for Beth are authentically portrayed. Every moment feels intentional, with strong emotional threads pulling the reader forward.

Hints on “Empty”

To avoid veering into an "empty" narrative, ensure your story resonates emotionally and rewards careful reading. Think of it as crafting a tapestry, where every thread of context weaves together to create a meaningful and impactful narrative.

Let’s look at coming-of-age as an example:

❌Avoid a Passive Protagonist: Protagonists who are purely reactive or simply “going through the motions” of adolescence can make the story feel flat. Without active choices, the character lacks agency, and readers may feel disengaged.

✅ Even if your protagonist is uncertain or lost (common in coming-of-age stories), they should still take action—whether it’s confronting a friend, or secretly applying to a college their parents disapprove of—their choices should reveal their values, desires, and fears, even if they make mistakes.

❌Avoid Vague, Generalized Introspection: Many coming-of-age stories rely heavily on a protagonist’s inner thoughts and reflections, but if these reflections are too broad or abstract (e.g., “Life is confusing” or “I don’t know who I am”), they fail to connect emotionally or reveal anything specific about the character.

✅ Ground introspection in details. For example, show them in a specific moment of change—watching their best friend move away or realizing they no longer relate to their childhood passions.

Build Tension Through Subtlety

In place of flashy plot twists or chaotic pacing to keep readers engaged, a quieter story uses subtext, pacing, and character dynamics:

Subtext: Layer unspoken emotions, desires, and tensions that exist beneath the surface of what characters say and do. What’s left unsaid can reveal far more about the characters’ emotional landscapes than any outright statement
Pacing: Slow burns work when each scene feels purposeful, even if understated. A character might casually mention a piece of news, such as a job opportunity or a decision to move, but the way it’s said and the way the other character reacts suggests something deeper—a hesitation, fear, or unspoken jealousy.
Character Dynamics: The complexity of your characters' relationships and their internal conflicts can drive the plot forward. One character may leave the room without saying a word, while the other stays silent, trying to hold in frustration. The tension between them is driven by something deeper, such as a fear of vulnerability, trust issues, or unexpressed desires.

The “empty” version of this would be:

A protagonist sits alone in a café, sipping coffee, and reflecting on their life, or the previously mentioned teenager kicking rocks and thinking about how “confusing” life is.

Both are vague and cliché
Nothing about the protagonist’s motivations, struggles, or relationships are revealed.
There’s no specific conflict or tension—internal or external—driving the moment.
The scene doesn’t connect to/set up a larger narrative goal—no unspoken tension, no stakes, no movement toward character growth or plot advancement.

The key being: a quiet story isn't about nothing happening—it's about everything that happens meaning something.

When done well, these stories create an intimacy with readers that action-packed narratives sometimes miss. Writing in this style can be challenging, but when done well, these are the stories that linger in readers’ minds long after the last page.

👉 Ready to evaluate your own manuscript? I've put together some tools below to help you identify whether your story is hitting the mark or needs more depth. These can be used for all types of narrative styles. 👈

❓What is your protagonist’s unspoken desire—the thing they won’t admit, even to themselves?

This could be a buried yearning or fear that colors their every action and decision. Write down their unspoken truth.

❓Describe your story’s emotional journey in one sentence.

What is the arc of your story in emotional terms? Is it about overcoming fear, seeking connection, finding acceptance, etc.?

❓What meaningful tensions remain unexpressed but felt?

Look for areas in your story where characters are avoiding a conversation, suppressing their emotions, or holding back from saying something important.

🛠️ Revision Roadmap 🛠️

⚠️ Disconnected or meandering scenes with no clear purpose.

Are some scenes just there to fill space or provide information? If the scene doesn’t move the character or plot forward, consider revising or cutting it.

Example: If you have a scene where characters are talking about the weather, having a random conversation without purpose, or just out walking their dog, ask yourself: What does this reveal about the characters or the themes of the story? If the answer is "nothing," consider revising it to make it meaningful.

⚠️ A protagonist who remains unchanged or lacks internal growth.

If your character ends the story exactly as they were at the start (emotionally, morally, psychologically), this may be a sign that there’s no arc. Ensure your character evolves in meaningful ways.

⚠️ Emotional moments that feel flat or unexplored.

Are there key emotional scenes that feel shallow or unearned? If a character’s emotional reaction seems out of place or disconnected, dig deeper into their internal struggles and motivations.

Example: A sudden marriage proposal in a romance where the relationship hasn’t been shown to have developed to the point of marriage.

⚠️ Dialogue that is purely functional, lacking subtext or deeper layers.

Dialogue should do more than serve the plot—it should reveal character, subtext, or emotional conflict—such as underlying tension, mistrust or frustration. If your dialogue feels flat, add layers or complexities.

🎯Depth-Enhancement Strategies 🎯

✅ Add a subtext layer to key scenes—what’s left unsaid should be just as powerful as what’s on the page.

Think about how you can make silence, hesitation, or contradictions speak volumes. Characters don’t always need to articulate their feelings directly—let their actions and words hint at deeper layers.

Example: A character might say, “I don’t mind, I’m just happy you’re happy,” but the subtext could reveal they are actually bitter about the other character’s success or relationship. This can be shown through body language or the tone of voice.

✅ Clarify internal conflicts—what is your character torn between, and what are the stakes?

Strengthen your character’s internal conflict. What are the internal stakes that make their external actions matter? Dive deeper into what’s at risk for them emotionally, even if the plot is slow or minimal.

Example: A character might constantly make decisions based on what others expect from them, even though their true desire is different. Show the internal push-and-pull through their actions, decisions, and dialogue to make the struggle feel authentic. For instance, a stack of untouched (parent supplied) law-school brochures next to a pile of art supplies, illustrated by a conversation with their best friend about how going to law school is the “responsible” thing to do.

✅ Heighten emotional contrast—if everything is muted, key moments lose impact. Allow for subtle shifts in emotional weight.

Emotional highs and lows are essential for engaging the reader. If your scenes are too quiet, inject moments of emotional tension or surprise. Contrast makes the quieter moments stand out.

Example: An estranged relationship being repaired. Awkward small talk, shared silence. Then a seemingly unconnected moment that sets one of them off—a burned dinner, the other is late— resulting in an argument, “Nothing ever changes!” that opens the door to face the real issues.

Gryphon Quill

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