Stand Out: A Query Intervention
An Agent's “How-To” Without the Usual BS
Sick of 'perfect you query letter' posts? Me too. Let’s skip the clichés and get to some real, actionable advice.
So how do you break through the noise and make your pitch stand out? Or as one writer asked: How do I get agents to read my manuscript?
Answer: By having a compelling query that makes them want to know more.
1. Tailor to the Agent, Not the Template
If you’ve Googled query letter advice, you’ve probably seen a dozen templates – I have one, (you can get it here). These are meant to be a guide, but too many writers take them literally, and don’t infuse any of their own personality into it. Beng "professional" doesn't mean vanilla.
I’ve often said personalization isn’t necessary. This doesn’t mean it’s ok to send out a blanket query addressed to “Hey Friend”. You at least need the agent’s name – random email blasts are an immediate delete.
What I mean is don’t tell the agent you’re sending your book because the agent “represents XYZ”… the agent knows what they represent, and they assume you do too, which is why you’re sending your book.
Instead, if you want to personalize, think about why this agent should care about your book. What makes them the perfect advocate for your work? Did they tweet about loving morally complex characters? Mention that you think your flawed heroine fits their tastes. Did something they say resonate with you? Include it.
Tailoring your query is about showing the agent you’ve done your homework beyond their wish list or website.
2. Don’t Oversell
Agents aren’t looking to be wowed by flashy gimmicks or over-the-top openings. What grabs them is clarity and confidence. Your hook should be the sentence that makes them lean in, curious to know more.
NO: “This book will be bigger than Harry Potter.”
YES: “A grieving woman discovers her late mother’s hidden life as a spy—and must decide if she’ll finish the mission her mother started.”
There’s a difference between confidence and desperation. Saying your book is “guaranteed to become a bestseller” or comparing yourself to ten famous authors doesn’t help your case. Instead, focus on presenting your work with professional, grounded enthusiasm.
NO: “This book is a life-changing masterpiece that will redefine the fantasy genre.”
YES: “My 95,000-word novel combines lush world-building with the personal stakes of a family tragedy, appealing to fans of Naomi Novik and Leigh Bardugo.”
This shows you know your market without overhyping your work.
3. Don’t Get Rejected at A Glance
If your query is more than a page – convoluted, rambling or overly detailed – it will be assumed your manuscript is too. Query letters should be 250-350 words max.
Here’s some suggestions:
Use short paragraphs: Stick to 3-4 max: housekeeping (title, genre, word count), a plot summary with stakes, and a brief bio.
Show the stakes: Avoid flat descriptions like “Jane must save her brother.” Instead, reveal the consequences: “Every hour Jane delays finding her brother, another memory of him disappears from the world.”
Lead with your strongest selling points, whether that’s book or platform related.
Your bio is not the place to list your ambitions, contest winnings, or medical ailments.
A quick word about comps – or getting the agent into the mindset of what they’re about to read. Telling me "It's Game of Thrones meets The Very Hungry Caterpillar" is a lot more intriguing (and I definitely want to see how you pulled it off) than saying “it’s a medieval fantasy with bugs”.
(More on comps here: Fiction Comps Are BS )
4. Don’t Be Generic, Derivative or Tropey
An agent’s inbox is stuffed with similar stories. Paranormal romance, coming-of-age story, post-apocalyptic, the list goes on. Tell us what makes your book special in a crowded genre?
Be specific. If your protagonist is navigating the apocalypse, tell us why their story matters. Is it a unique setting? A moral dilemma? Make the stakes personal and fresh.
An agent needs to know Why this book? Have your query answer that question.
5. Rejection Isn’t Always About You
Even great queries can get rejected, and it has nothing to do with your talent. The agent might already represent something similar, or your book doesn’t fit their vision for their list.
Agents want a book they can champion. If they’re not passionate about your work, they’re doing you a favor by saying no. This is why querying widely is essential—your dream agent might be the person you least expect.
Done correctly, the best queries feel less like formal applications and more like the start of a conversation. They give us a sense not just of your book, but of your voice and your perspective as a writer. They make us want to grab coffee with you (virtually, of course) and hear more.
In the end, agents aren’t just acquiring a book – they’re investing in a career. A strong query increases the chance that career will be yours.
📢 Feeling unsure whether your submission package is solid?📢
I’ve got a brand-new mini course that walks you through the key elements agents focus on—your query letter, synopsis, and first five pages. It’s quick, it’s actionable, and it’s just $19. Sign up now and get the BONUS workbook.
If you haven’t yet, hit the subscribe button, it’s FREE. You’ll get writing tips, publishing insights and lit agent advice. I’m even open to answering questions (about writing stuff—I need to clarify that for my “funny” friends)
NEW TO GRYPHON QUILL? Check out more writing tips here including:
How to keep agents reading: The Science of Rejection
How to write strong scenes: Hook the Agent
How to not stress over comps: Fiction Comps are BS
NEW TO ME: You can find more about me here.
this: "the best queries feel less like formal applications and more like the start of a conversation"
Hah! What a great photo!