33 Comments
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Casual-T's avatar

Thanks, Renee! This is a very good article with a lot of very good information. Actually, lots of it! I usually don't make the mistake of erroneously using redundancies which say the same thing, but this helpful list will be extremely beneficial in avoiding them even more in the future to come. Thanks, Renee!

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Renee Fountain's avatar

So glad you found it helpful.

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Noor Rahman's avatar

I see what you did there, lol.

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Renee Fountain's avatar

LOL - yes I saw too. :)

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

In this present time I love this article. Hehe.

Great info!

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Renee Fountain's avatar

Glad it helped :)

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Annie's avatar

I haven’t read the article yet, but I like the concept! The most common reason books drop down from 4 stars to 3 for me is that the internal monologue keeps repeating the problem or the character’s point of view to the reader instead of moving forward or introducing new things.

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Renee Fountain's avatar

Annie, yes, I see that a lot as well. Authors have to learn to trust the reader and know they are smart enough to remember things, make connections, pick up on implied meanings and subtle hints.

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Teyani Whitman's avatar

I began to say “most excellent” just to make you shake your head and hopefully chuckle, but decided since you don’t know me it might not be as funny as I imagined it could be,

Thank you for a timely article.

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Renee Fountain's avatar

Teyani, “most excellent”, I like that one 😄 Most can be the new “very”.

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Norman T. Leonard's avatar

Love this. I used to tell my writing students that I'd never smoked meth, but if I was going to smoke meth, I would want the pure stuff, not the garbage cut with aspirin and horse manure. So it goes with prose. Give me the blue sky sentences cooked up by a literary Walter White. Muscular, terse, vascular--the words should pop and sizzle.

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Renee Fountain's avatar

I’m in Seattle at a writing conference. I’m going to use this “Give me the blue sky sentences cooked up by a literary Walter White. Muscular, terse, vascular--the words should pop and sizzle.” In my masterclass

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Norman T. Leonard's avatar

Do so with impunity. ;)

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Colin Cerniglia's avatar

I feel seen 🙈

I cringe thinking about the redundancies any of my first drafts have, no matter the topic or type of writing.

Keep in this post handy for when I need a refresher or ideas. Thanks, Renee!

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Renee Fountain's avatar

Oh no… 🫣 I think I’ve made everybody more self conscious with this post—including myself 🫤

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Colin Cerniglia's avatar

It’s all good! We all gotta check ourselves sometimes. I just wish I wasn’t so bad at redundancy the first time around 🤣

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Sue Kittow's avatar

Great post. My pet hate is ‘at this moment in time’ 😊

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Renee Fountain's avatar

That's a good one :)

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Noor Rahman's avatar

What a list! Thanks for sharing this, I'm saving it to reference when I line edit my book.

And not to quibble, but I find that using "wordy phrases" every now and again has its place when I'm trying to go for a certain rhythm. I am guilty of using "In order to" instead of "to," for example.

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Renee Fountain's avatar

I think getting the majority is fine. Notice the ones you do all the time and let the final line editor get the rest ;) I also agree there are times when you use the wordy phrases - such as your example, and when you're showing the personality of someone through dialogue.

When I'm reading a manuscript it's the big ones that jumpt out. I wouldn't call out "free gift" -- though I will now-- but it's when they "nod their head" or "blink their eyes" or "shrug their shoulders". Or when their "phone rings and they answer the phone"...

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Noor Rahman's avatar

Agree, that makes a lot of sense!

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Mansi's avatar

This is a wonderful reminder, Renee! Thank you for the examples, too, as I review writing fundamentals with my 10-year-old.

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Renee Fountain's avatar

That’s so great. Lucky kid 😃

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Mansi's avatar

She’s blooming as a writer. It’s heartwarming to see her brainstorm ideas and feel proud when something is seven drafts in!

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Richard Donnelly's avatar

Amen Renee. We always feel like the reader won't follow, when it's the opposite. If we're doing well, they follow too closely.

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Steph Rae Moran's avatar

Such a timely topic for me! I've been trying to pay more attention to this in my fiction writing. But then I just realized that I used "in the vicinity of" instead of "near" in my newsletter today. 😉

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Renee Fountain's avatar

For some reason I don’t notice it so much when I’m reading newsletters and posts, than I do in a manuscript. 😁

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Mary Lynn Cloghesy's avatar

Thanks for this Renee! Super helpful.

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Renee Fountain's avatar

So glad to hear that ♥️

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Ernie Schenck's avatar

Incredibly great advice for any writer!

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Renee Fountain's avatar

Thanks, Ernie. 😊

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Nicola's avatar

So many of these are "business speak" - stuff you'd find in your corporate inbox. It makes me wonder how much of the planet's resources are being spent storing unnecessary verbose emails. Think of the planet, people! Simplify!

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Renee Fountain's avatar

Glad to hear you're thinking of the planet, Nicola. Though not sure how storing an email affects its natural resources. Some of it may sound like "business speak" but it applies to all forms of writing.

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